“The greatest discovery in life is self discovery. Until you find yourself you will always be someone else. Become yourself.” Myles Monroe
I always wanted to feel free, not just being able to do whatever I wanted free, but to experience a complete internal mental freedom. I was unsure of where to even begin to find some relief. I had recently experienced a devastating divorce in the middle of the pandemic, lost my home, no money and no hope. I had began to feel like my mind was slowly slipping away into a deep dark place. I had lost all sense of identity. Not to mention that all my insecurities had come back to haunt me. During this time, I had been making various trips to the bay area. On one of these trips, I met a man who caught my interest from the moment we met. His New York accent caught my attention right away. I was introduced and I was quickly drawn to this aura of confidence that seemed to exude from within him. This was something that I wanted for myself. After going through broken relationship after broken relationship, the need to always make sure that others around me were happy before I was, not ever really doing or saying what I wanted for fear of being judged, I had let all these things weigh me down for years and after repeated abuse in many of these relationships, I had become numb to myself and didn’t realize the damage that it had on my emotional state. I had become angry, depressed, anxious, insecure, stressed, unhappy, irritable and unpleasant to be around at times.
Here I am one year later, the man that I met in the bay area we are now dating and it has been a year full of ups and downs. But more importantly, it has been a year of self discovery. My boyfriend has been the greatest partner and the greatest support. He has taught me how he was able to deal with borderline personality disorder(which I also suffer from) and how to live worry free from the opinions and judgments of others. Together we have learned each others weaknesses and made it a goal to continue to push each other to be the best that we can be for ourselves and those around us. And to let others know that mental illness is more common than we think and that we can live a happy healthy life if we really choose to put in the work and make the changes.
I hope that you will enjoy this site and that it will help to reach out to others who feel that having BPD or any mental illness is looked down upon. It is more common than we think, and they come in all different forms of expression. I want to share my story so that it gives others hope and a place to connect with those who are going through similar situations and a place where we can take this journey together.
Mentalcloud9 