There were so many instances that I can remember when things were going so bad, sitting there asking “Why God? Why me? What have I done to deserve this? If I only knew then what I know now, the questions that I would be asking would be significantly different than what I asked then.
In this last year, I have had a lot of time to reflect on the many deep, dark places that I have found myself in. I think about that little voice that resonated in my spirit. Always encouraging me to never give up, to know that I have a purpose. That I was made for greater.
That voice. Call it what you want. God, your conscious, the universe. Whatever that voice is to you, it’s the one you want to listen to. Deep down, we all hear that voice at some point in our lives. Some louder than others. It’s important to find that voice.
It’s the voice that gives you boundaries and morals. The voice that knows right from wrong, that gives you conviction. For me, it’s the voice that I seek guidance from. It’s the voice that keeps me anchored.
Times when I questioned my sanity and my own existence, I sought refuge in my spirituality. Knowing that what is inside of me is more valuable than the outside. Because once the inside is mended and completely whole, it can’t help but to seep out into the physical.
That voice helped me find purpose and meaning in my disorder. Understanding that through my trials, others can be filled with hope in a hopeless world. Instead of “why me God?” My question should have been “What am I supposed to learn from this so that I may grow and be a blessing to others?” Recognizing that as funny as it may sound, I was meant to be mental.
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