When I think about the word boundary, I immediately begin to picture lines being drawn in my head. Drawn around me to protect me, to keep things from hurting me, to keep my emotions in check. But what about the healthy boundaries that are placed to set us free?
I am one who has always allowed myself to see boundaries as something that holds me back or keeps me protected. Until I had a mind shift and began to see how important having healthy boundaries can be, and how freeing they can be.
I once attended a purity convention with my 11 year old daughter. I wanted her to understand the importance of her body and mind and making sure she is ready for the responsibilities of a young adult.
During this convention, they asked the girls to write down a list of things that they would not allow themselves to go through. To keep it with them and meditate on them. To show them that they are worth waiting for.
I began to think about how I could have set boundaries and standards for myself that would have only helped avoid so much tragedy. But always trying to conform to the opinions and attitudes of others, I never drew a line between what others wanted and what I truly wanted for myself.
I think about all the heartache and pain that I would have saved myself if I had set good healthy boundaries for myself from a young age. I am just now at 43 years old finally understanding how everything in life is put around us to help us. Especially when we learn to look at life from a positive perspective.
Boundaries are there to protect us. Yes. But they are also there to show us freedom through balance. Setting healthy boundaries for yourself and seeking it, manifests it into reality. By setting standards, you are giving yourself worth. You are setting the standards for what you think you are worth. We can not expect perfection but we can place value in ourselves by showing others what we will and will not allow into our lives.
Setting these boundaries and standards can keep us from a whole lot of heartache and abuse that may later in life lead to disorders such as PTSD, anxiety and depression.
The great thing is that it is never to late to begin setting boundaries. I have begun to see how peaceful life becomes when you set boundaries for yourself. Nothing could be better than having less drama in your life. I can attest to that from firsthand perspective
You have to begin to see your value and know you are worth more than just settling. The right people will love and respect you because you have boundaries. Those are the one you want closest to you. Those who can truly respect you and the boundaries you set for yourself.
I have begun to find freedom by setting boundaries in every aspect of my life. In my relationship, it has given me a new respect for my boyfriend. Learning to respect each other’s boundaries has drawn us closer and made our relationship grow stronger. Setting boundaries in my career has helped in motivating me and in giving me vision.
I would highly encourage you if you have not begun to set boundaries for yourself- Start. Take the time to sit and think about what areas in your life need boundaries. You need them to keep a healthy balance in your life.
You will see those around you begin to see your confidence as you draw those boundaries. Know your worth, set your boundaries, and watch your life slowly begin to shift in a different direction. There is nothing more appealing than being confident in what you want and where you are headed.