It’s your fault!
The blame game is a game that unfortunately, I know too well. I look back and think about how different my life could have been had I learned early on, to take full responsibility for my actions and not continuously blame those around me.
Then again, it’s so much easier to blame others. To not have to bear the consequences of our actions. Taking that weight off and placing it on the shoulders of others. Although I never realized that I was doing this, subconsciously, it was my defense mechanism to take the focus off of me.
“You made me do this!”, “It’s all your fault!”, “If you had not done this!” I have said it all. Having borderline personality disorder, I feel emotions so raw and strong and because of this, I express myself in the same way, raw and strong. I used to be very impulsive and just blurt out hurtful and insulting things at my partners.
The saying “hurt people, hurt people” could not be any more true. I always wanted to have the last word and one that would really impact. Little did I know the damage it was doing to those around me. I was constantly pushing away the same people I was trying to keep close.
It was only when I finally started to accept my flaws and mistakes by changing my perception, that I was able to stop blaming others and begin taking accountability for my own actions and decisions. Talk about a SUPER HARSH REALIZATION!! I had a huge wake up call.
I had been blaming others this whole time for something that only I have control of? I ultimately decide to accept or reject what I allow in my life? Many people never get to see life for what it is because their blame game is so strong.
Some never truly take the veil off of their internal eyes and really dissect and self internalize their behavior. Having to really search yourself takes having to embrace the beautiful and the ugly side. There is nothing harder yet more freeing than having to accept your flaws.
We blame so many different things and people for the mistakes that we make in life. We blame family, environment, friends, social media and so on and so on. We fail to realize that each choice that we make on a daily basis can only be made by you and only you.
I once heard someone say “Our minds are the last frontier of privacy that we have.” Our minds are the one place where we are the only ones allowed in. We have control of how we perceive life.
It is never easy to see the wrong in ourselves. But our journey in life is to ultimately see the flaws in ourselves and work everyday to turn them into our strengths. The real work starts from the inside out.
Once you have begun to take accountability and accept your weaknesses, you begin to love yourself even more. You understand that everyone has flaws, but only those who recognize it, can become better. Every day is a new day to retrain your brain. Learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, and see that life can be so much more amazing.