No middle ground
Perception is everything. Every trauma burns an imprint that in some way changes the way you perceive yourself and the world around you. So what impressions morphed your perceptions?
For many of us living with BPD, the effects of our trauma caused a slow erosion of our mental state that began to negatively affect the way we perceived others. Every wound peeled back another layer of you that exposed more and more each time, allowing you to feel emotions rawer than the last. You slowly found yourself being bound by the perception prison.
In this life, no one is exempt from pain and suffering. Yet, we all have different mechanisms to deal with these emotions. For those of us with BPD, we develop what we call “idealization” and “devaluation” or “splitting.” All of these have to do with perception and how we see others.
For us, there is no middle ground. We see things from one extreme to the other. Black and white thinking. Our perception prison. Finding a way out of this can be extremely difficult, but not impossible.
It all really begins with internal awareness and self-talk. Learning to conduct yourself daily. What we tell ourselves every day and how we choose to maneuver through the day. That is really all it is.
Every situation at times may seem overwhelming when you are trying to reason with yourself to overcome emotion. In the end, one side wins, but either way, both sides come out drained and exhausted.
But you learn to not give up. You may fail in your attempt to overcome some reactions one day, but if you are blessed enough to wake up the following day, then God has given you a second chance to redo it all over again and to do it differently.
For me, getting over the black and white thinking has been one of the most complex steps to overcome. I truly fight this every day. Learning to not see a person completely good to evil is a subconscious battle. It is something I do instinctively as a defense mechanism for my “protection.”
Shifting perspective (conclusion)
As you learn to better control your emotions and shift your perspective, you begin to see the real you and your actual value. This begins to give you some clarity and helps you to think a little more clearly. This, in turn, allows your mind to reassess your life and where you actually want to be. You can then start to direct your life in the way you want to live it.
Remember, this is a daily process, and you can not give up easily. You have to fight for what will benefit you in the end. We must remember that good things don’t always come easily. Your mental health will be the one thing that you will want to fight for. This will ensure you a happy, healthy life. It will help you escape the perception prison.