No Shame In My Game

For most of my life, I walked around with the “shame” many people carry. The shame of my disorder, weaknesses, insecurities, and faults. I hid this so well from others for so long. Only to become unraveled when I developed a relationship with a significant other.

Back then, I could not understand why I felt the way I felt, why I could not control my rage, and why I was so insecure with myself. As I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, I better understood why I reacted the way I did.

As I continued to learn more about my diagnosis and better understand it, I also began to see it in others. I began to realize that there were so many others just like me. I was not alone; I didn’t have to be ashamed anymore.

The emotions I feared for others to see for so long were not so scary anymore. I knew that most people were also dealing with demons of their own. I realized I had to have “no shame in my game.” How can I help others realize there is a way to beat this if I am unwilling to share my story and my road to recovery with others?

I say we are all a little broken in some way. Some more than others, but yet all broken or cracked a little. The only way to fix a damaged item is to see the brokenness first.

Once you figure out where the pieces are broken or cracked, then you can begin to mend and put the pieces back together. You will never know something needs fixing unless you can see the cracks.

I learned to open up about my disorder and my faults in hopes that others will be willing to not only show that we are a little broken but that it can also be repaired. Hiding our weaknesses only keeps us from finding ways to fix things that need healing.

Since I opened up about these things in my life, I have experienced freedom unlike any other that I have felt. I have learned to love myself as I am. Weaknesses and all. Knowing that they are temporary.

Every day I strive to become better than yesterday. Tests that attack our character are found around every corner. Waiting to strike like a venomous snake. Lurking where you least expect it to cause you to jump back and go around, rather than moving straight forward and facing your fears.

By not having any shame in your game, you are choosing to grab that snake by the neck and toss it to the side, making room for you and allowing you to face your fears and cross over into a transformed you. By doing this, you allow others to see the human side of you. The human side we all have.

The great thing about it is that you don’t have to stay that way. We have the option and the freedom to become who we truly want to be. Use your weakness to create your strengths. To show others the resilience that we all have as humans. Let’s walk around with our heads high and learn to have “no shame in your game.”