Solitude in an uninhabited place

Peace and quiet. Everybody needs this at some point. Some just don’t realize how important and how crucial this can be. Especially when you are dealing with mental health. Especially someone like me.

Being in a relationship when you suffer from mental health can be extremely challenging. Learning and finding yourself within a relationship can be even more difficult. This is why I believe that peace and quiet are so necessary.

I never understood how you can need space away from someone you love or care about. I always thought that getting space away from one another could be detrimental in a relationship where there is anger or frustration. Boy, was I wrong?

One of the most significant issues I deal with regarding my BPD is the fear of abandonment. I have been married three times, and I have been cheated on in each relationship. This brings some scarring to my mental state and leaves behind the fear of this happening again.

Having BPD only exasperates these feelings. It causes you to act impulsively and to react strictly based on how you feel at the moment. You don’t see clearly further down the road. This is where I discovered that solitude is very necessary for me in these moments.

Solitude is defined as a state of being alone or in a lonely or uninhabited place. I realized that both apply. Finding space and peace when you are feeling overwhelmed is necessary. Not only finding peace and quiet but also where you find your peace and quiet.

As for me, I found that it is detrimental for me to find my quiet place when my feelings start to creep up on me. Recognizing my triggers helps me to know when it is time for me to step away. I need to find my peace. I also need to do this where I can self-reflect without any outside distractions.

I need to seek a place where I am away from everyone and everything. A place where I have time to reflect and reason with myself about my fears and how they are affecting me at the moment. Sometimes, I will call someone I trust and allow them to begin speaking positively into my life to give me the push I need. Then I will rest in my solitude.

I understand that this method may not work for everybody. I understand that some need the support of others to move forward. If this works for you, continue doing what works best. Getting what I call “refreshment time” is necessary to better understand myself.

I have learned to use this time to reflect on the issues and emotions that I am facing and to reassure myself that this is part of my BPD and that I am allowing my fears to dictate my actions. I have learned to use self-talk to reason and to allow myself the space to calm down.

Many times, I choose to get away and just listen to some music that feeds my soul. I love music and am grateful that it is a tool that helps me to deal with my emotions. It can be like medicine for the body.

I remind myself every day that I am more than capable of accomplishing my dreams and have so much to bring to the table. I remind myself that there is only 1 me, and I have been uniquely made to accomplish a greater purpose in this life.

I recommend finding your place of solitude to give your mind some time to refresh from the stresses of everyday life. To help get to know and find yourself by yourself. This will help you get to know yourself better and overcome and be ready to help others walking down the same path as you and needing a little guidance. Those trying to find their own place of solitude.