I had always been good enough. With BPD, without BPD, I had always been good enough. I had been too blind to see it. One day something happened. God took the blinders off, and I realized that I had always been good enough...just not good enough for me. I had been holding myself to impossible …
Raw and exposed (BPD)
Raw and exposed Force field It makes me feel angry whenever these thoughts pop up in my mind. I think about all the unnecessary abuse and hurt that I put myself through for others. How vulnerable I became in hopes of happily ever after. Only to find myself making the same bad choices over and …
The Perception Prison
A way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impressionPerception No middle ground Perception is everything. Every trauma burns an imprint that in some way changes the way you perceive yourself and the world around you. So what impressions morphed your perceptions? For many of us living with BPD, the effects of our trauma …
BPD-Borderline Personality Disorder or Bringing People Down?
BPD or Bringing People Down? Self-evaluation Having BPD or borderline personality disorder can be tricky. The rawness of your emotions coupled with overthinking, impulsivity, and anger make for a cocktail of disaster at times. It causes you to feel like a nuisance to those closest to you. I lived this way for years. I allowed …
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The uneasiness of finding peace
The uneasiness of finding peace I had always imagined finding my peace in some majestic, glorious moment that would cause an overnight life-altering experience. Unfortunately, that is not how it played out. It was going to take more than the wave of a magic wand to begin to make the necessary changes to find my …
Taking your mind back
Taking my mind back Something had to change For many years, I felt like I'd been walking around living life through the eyes of others. I noticed that I rarely enjoyed life the way I wanted to. I had many joys and reasons to celebrate. But for some reason, I felt that I still had …
It’s All In The Fall
It's all in the fall. Broken We have all felt this way at one point or another. You set specific goals that you know will enhance your life and mental health. You make a clear plan. You get pumped and feel ready to take on the world. Then a situation will come along and pull …
From figment to physical
From Figment to physical The cold sweats, the rapid trembling, the racing heartbeat, the tightening in the chest. These are all symptoms I know too well. At times it felt as though I was having a heart attack. The physical symptoms are produced by what began as a figment in my mind. Whether real or …
Room for only one…..fighting with BPD
“If you're always trying to be normal, you'll never know how amazing you can be.” Under Control Going through the back and forth battle within me. Fighting my negative thoughts from taking over. Doing my best to not let my emotions seep through on the outside. Emotionally drained from keeping my anger and insecurities under …
As the doors close…
Vision I began this journey to completely change myself and take control of my depression, anger, and BPD. I wanted to be able to retrain my mind to overcome the stigma. I chose to face this the hard way and focus on what I needed to change internally and not focus on what those around …