BPD-BRINGS PAINFUL DEMONS Fear of abandonment? Self-image issues? Difficulty managing emotions? A pattern of unstable relationships? Impulsive decisions based on your feelings? These are just some of the demons that come with a borderline personality disorder. These are demons that I battled for most of my life from an early age. I had allowed my …
Hamster Wheel Mentality
Sleepless nights, laying there with thoughts racing over and over. Thinking of every scenario and every reason why, where, how, and what. I clearly remember these nights and the long exhausting days of my Hamster wheel mentality. Being that I suffered from depression, anxiety, and BPD, I understood this frame of mind all too well. …
Mind Unafraid
MIND UNAFRAID I found myself in a familiar place again. The overwhelming feeling of anxiety, the cold sweats, the uneasiness of not knowing. I had been here before. Many times. Except for this time, things were different. I was different. Having a borderline personality disorder can be very difficult to control. Not being able to …
No Shame In My Game
No shame in my game For most of my life, I walked around with the "shame" many people carry. The shame of my disorder, weaknesses, insecurities, and faults. I hid this so well from others for so long. Only to become unraveled when I developed a relationship with a significant other. Back then, I could …
Leveling up or staying level?
Learning that being flawed is okay, it helps to better understand yourself and others
Evolutionary Mind
EVOLUTIONARY-PROGRESSION NOT RECESSION Relating to the gradual development of something.-Evolutionary Finding our way through this complicated journey full of twists and turns and sometimes dead ends can be exhausting and draining physically, not to mention mentally. The problem with being mentally tired is that we don't even realize it. It doesn't hit us until we …
Readjusting and recalibrating
Readjusting-adjust or adapt to a changed environment or situation.Recalibrating- to adjust precisely for a particular function again Being a photographer, I understand the importance of keeping your equipment clean and ready to go on the day of your special event. I also know that from time to time, my cameras need to be realigned and recalibrated. …
Be aware and Beware
BEWARE-Be cautious and alert to the dangers ofBE AWARE-Having knowledge or perception of a situation or factIt's important to know the difference between both and how they both affect you in your everyday life. We go about our day as routinely as the previous day. Wash, rinse, repeat. Right? The cycle we all get caught …
Because I wasn’t good enough…for me!
I had always been good enough. With BPD, without BPD, I had always been good enough. I had been too blind to see it. One day something happened. God took the blinders off, and I realized that I had always been good enough...just not good enough for me. I had been holding myself to impossible …
Raw and exposed (BPD)
Raw and exposed Force field It makes me feel angry whenever these thoughts pop up in my mind. I think about all the unnecessary abuse and hurt that I put myself through for others. How vulnerable I became in hopes of happily ever after. Only to find myself making the same bad choices over and …